Comments on: Remote Profiling (A Short Story) http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/ Buffering.... Thu, 29 Jul 2010 22:44:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Fundamental Jelly http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-5105 Fundamental Jelly Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:50:55 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-5105 Ha. Yes he does and so do you. Thanks DP. Ha. Yes he does and so do you. Thanks DP.

]]> By: doll parts http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-5103 doll parts Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:41:18 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-5103 wow! do more! brown has good taste in music... wow! do more! brown has good taste in music…

]]> By: fundamentaljelly http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-5014 fundamentaljelly Fri, 12 Feb 2010 10:48:35 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-5014 Thanks Tom, I appreciate the feedback. I will be stopping by your blog soon for a refresher. Thanks Tom, I appreciate the feedback. I will be stopping by your blog soon for a refresher.

]]> By: fundamentaljelly http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-5013 fundamentaljelly Fri, 12 Feb 2010 10:46:50 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-5013 Thanks Timm for the kind words. Thanks Timm for the kind words.

]]> By: Tom Eubanks http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-5010 Tom Eubanks Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:18:28 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-5010 Okay, now, the pictures are great, but where does this writing stuff come from? That was one well-structured piece of storytelling. It was entertaining and enlightening--two important elements for me in a story. You broke up the dialogue with visually enhanced phrases, which added artistry. Technically, one of the things you did really well was make me dislike all three characters, then in a very short moment turn me to side with Brown. That's always fun. Now, I believe in being honest about writing. So here's some constructive criticism: read my last three days' posts on my blog about using the comma: The Ten Commandments: Comma or Coma? Okay, now, the pictures are great, but where does this writing stuff come from? That was one well-structured piece of storytelling. It was entertaining and enlightening–two important elements for me in a story. You broke up the dialogue with visually enhanced phrases, which added artistry. Technically, one of the things you did really well was make me dislike all three characters, then in a very short moment turn me to side with Brown. That’s always fun. Now, I believe in being honest about writing. So here’s some constructive criticism: read my last three days’ posts on my blog about using the comma: The Ten Commandments: Comma or Coma?

]]> By: timm http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-5009 timm Thu, 11 Feb 2010 16:55:31 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-5009 LOVE THIS! Great writing FJ. I could "see" the setting, the people. You nailed it. I was reminded of WC Fields as he commented under his breath as people passed by. Things like, "you pompous old windbag... I think you and my Bro Tom should write a screenplay together. The Coen brothers could be put to shame. LOVE THIS! Great writing FJ. I could “see” the setting, the people. You nailed it. I was reminded of WC Fields as he commented under his breath as people passed by. Things like, “you pompous old windbag…
I think you and my Bro Tom should write a screenplay together. The Coen brothers could be put to shame.

]]> By: fundamentaljelly http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-4997 fundamentaljelly Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:57:34 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-4997 Thanks JayJay, that's funny. I hope you post it, I'm curious now. Cheers. Thanks JayJay, that’s funny. I hope you post it, I’m curious now. Cheers.

]]> By: Jay-Jay http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-4982 Jay-Jay Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:10:51 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-4982 Great story, really great. It freaked me out though. A year or two an ex-girlfriend and I used to do this - we got our inspiration from the Michael Douglas movie, 'Wonder Boys' where Douglas, Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire play the same game - and a week ago I started writing a short story based on the same notion. Once it's finished I intended posting it and I thought it only fair to let you know in advance so you don't think I'm stealing/plaugerising yours. Although, in all honesty, yours is far superior to the drivel I have thus far so I may have a re-think! Great story, really great.

It freaked me out though.

A year or two an ex-girlfriend and I used to do this – we got our inspiration from the Michael Douglas movie, ‘Wonder Boys’ where Douglas, Robert Downey Jr. and Tobey Maguire play the same game – and a week ago I started writing a short story based on the same notion.

Once it’s finished I intended posting it and I thought it only fair to let you know in advance so you don’t think I’m stealing/plaugerising yours.

Although, in all honesty, yours is far superior to the drivel I have thus far so I may have a re-think!

]]> By: fundamentaljelly http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-4965 fundamentaljelly Tue, 09 Feb 2010 20:11:17 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-4965 Well, thanks for the kind words Lori, that means a lot coming from your fine mind. Great to see your here. Well, thanks for the kind words Lori, that means a lot coming from your fine mind. Great to see your here.

]]> By: Lori http://fundamentaljelly.com/2010/02/07/remote-profiling-a-short-story/#comment-4963 Lori Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:55:32 +0000 http://fundamentaljelly.com/?p=1851#comment-4963 This is unequivocally brilliant, Bob. This is unequivocally brilliant, Bob.

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