Yeah, see, I was just about to upload the first photo when I realized that the post title was a pun. I really hate them, but I can’t seem to help myself. I come about this honestly because I am my father’s son (reproductive biology is like that you know). You see, my dad is a world-class punster and many of his puns are amazingly clever, but they are still puns. He has even designed a board-game tentatively called PunFun, think of the guy who invented the Jump to Conclusions Mat in the movie ‘Office Space.’ Genetics being what it is, you will have to forgive the occasional lapse.
The photos below were shot in our local mall today. I normally avoid the place like a bad dose of clap, but the only store that had the ‘thing’ I needed was located there. We also stopped at the food court and had a seizure salad…DEAR. GOD. MAKE IT STOP!!!
It Stays Fresh
Mall Walker Slider
Pink and Black and Hair Related
Stunning
A shopping center is generally where I have my ‘petit mall’ seizures.
Me too!!
I always wonder how those poor kiosk stores stay in business. Everyone avoids them like the plague.
Me included Bear.
Allow me to vent about kiosk operators. Not sure how aggressive they are in your neck of the cacti, but out here in Las Vegas, they are a breed apart. The uninitiated will be strolling in the mall and will immediately be POUNCED upon by said kiosk operator. The ‘operator’ will deliver a compliment (something along the lines of “May I ask you something? Your skin is beautiful! What do you use?”), then move in for the kill once you murmur “why, thank you!” When you politely decline their offer for face cream, hair extensions, skirt that can be tied 100-different ways, jewelry cleaner, nail buffers and move on THEY WILL CHASE YOU DOWN until you emphatically tell them you are not interested. Wearing dark wrap-around glasses and make an oblique turn when you approach a kiosk does not work. They still beeline it for you. I have taken to constructing a popsicle stick with a cloud shaped “NO!” to pull out when approached. I’ll let you know if it works. Interestingly, if you need customer service when you are in a real store, no one can be found. No wonder I HATE shopping.
I love these! Especially the first one when you open it up. The graphic elements are amazing!
Thanks for the kind words YnB, glad you enjoyed them.
These are all wonderful! Love the colors and the perspective and of course the puns..
Thanks DF.
FJ, you have a unique eye on the world; thankyou for sharing it with us. Is the chappy attending the vivid coloured plastic container stall playing with himself?
Haha, you may be right Dave, he had nothing else going on.
You know what they say about tupperware… if it’s round let it sound and if it’s square leave it there. This could answer Dave’s question!
Say what?!?!?
Ha!
You may not realize it now, but your Father has given you a gift. Nobody does puns/malapropisms like you do puns/malopropisms, FJ.
I love the photos. (Especially #1 and 3.) But then again, I also love the mall.
ps. I’m glad that you stopped and had a bite to eat, FJ. As Juilus Seizure once said, “It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.”
pps. Is there such thing as a good dose of the clap?
Syncopated syphylis…
Haha, did Julius really say that? Good to hear from you Ms B.
He totally said it!
(Google doesn’t lie…)
Okay then…as long as Google agrees.
Mmmm, pink wiggles!
Very nice indeed FJ. I’m drawn to the Mall Strider but that’s personal bias.
And, I apologize, but I really do appreciate a well constructed pun. A simple pleasure.
No need to apologize Mr. Mills since I am likely to use them more often than seems necessary. Thanks.
You father is the master and I think you may have plucked the pebble from his hands, Grasshopper!
I love #1 and 2. Great perspective and makes me so glad I am not there. I too do not like malls and I am actually a man that doesn’t mind shopping (for guy stuff). I think you can sue for mall practice!
Thanks T and I can’t believe you’re the only one to ‘throw’ a pun out there…wtf?
Am I the only one who reads the store sign in “Mall Slider” as “ACNE”?
Yes CLT, but it doesn’t take much of an imagination to ‘see’ acne in Cache.
HA! Words and pictures to live by, from a great punster and photographer. I’m a very sick man, magnifying to make sure that gentleman had a coffee at the tupperware cart, but he had a soda instead. I would require gallons of coffee, lots of books, and perhaps those tiny Florida lizards hiding in a tupperware or two, just to wake people up. HA! GREAT COLORS!
I am so there Dan, thanks man.
I don’t know what’s more depressing, an empty mall or a pre-Christmas mall. They both make me want to suck on an exhaust pipe till I get sleepy. I hate to admit it, but I do actually like the overpriced shit they sell in Pier 1……. Sorry manhood.
I did love your pics!
Thanks Scott. We have a store in the west called Cost Plus – World Market and its like a cheaper Pier 1 and they (I hate to admit) have some cool stuff. Manhood restored.
FJ, love the subject in Mall Slider, the beautifully decked frozen maniquins vs a still mobile, still hip senior cruising past them. Just love the irony.
Thanks Mrs of Locksley…haha
Damn, I usually hate the mall, and go once every year if that often. I can’t believe the gorgeous colors and shapes I’m missing. I need to go early in the morning, bring no money, and pretend I’m you.
Haha, thanks PV.
Love #1
I’m so grateful for choices; that’s what makes this country great. I mean I want a “Stunning Statement” as much as anyone, but I wouldn’t pay more than $9.95 for it.
Haha, I think Stunning Statements should be free.