When I created this blog back in February someone mentioned that I should claim my blog with Technorati which I did. At that time Technorati said that my Blog Rank was 5,220,164 which I took to mean that there were 5,220,163 blogs that were more popular than mine. Over the next couple of months I clawed my way to a rank of 4,109,266, putting over a million blogs to the sword. Then one day in late May I discovered, for reasons that were unclear at the time, that my blog rank had moved to 2,007,385—another two million hacks smashed under my Bruno Magli blogging jackboots.
What, I asked, accounted for this steady, nay, meteoric rise? My traffic had remained more or less static during that period. Then I found out about something Technorati calls Authority, which is a list of blog reactions wherein some other blogger links you in the body of a post. This is not the same as being added to a blogroll, that for some reason doesn’t seem to help your rank. Then in June and early July when I was out in the field and not blogging on a regular basis my rank jumped again to 545,876 despite the fact that my traffic was marginally lower. It turns out that getting linked in the body of a post is were the money is.
So, Scott Oglesby of Zodi’s Blog come on down you’re today’s winner…http://zodiblog.wordpress.com/ And Scott, who is Zodi by the way??? I also think that putting the link in this form (with the http thingy) nets higher results than using the link button, I can’t prove this but it seems to work.
Anyway, it appears that in blog rank terms I have just passed the Chutney: The Condiment of Conquest blog and I am right behind the Alabama Can Spell public service blog. Watch out Alabama, I am on your ass.
I am curious if your ranking, traffic stats, and comment count is a meaningful number to you. Actually, for me the comments are more satisfying than stats or rank. Feedback trumps numbers I say. What say you?
Oh, and even the late Michael Jackson gave me the thumbs up regarding my blog ranking.
I for one will miss this goofy bastard and his silly putty nose. Rest in Pieces my friend.
Well if Michael gives you a thumbs up, I second that, gloveless, but still thumbs up my good friend! When Billy Mays starts pitching your blog, you have hit the jackpot!
And that’s not all, if you comment in the next 30 minutes, you’ll receive a set of premium inflatable pocket dice totally fucking free. Comment now!!
I don’t know too much about this stuff. But I’m sure I’m fully and solely responsible for your blog rating doing so well…
I took your blog out on the road, gigged with it in every dive from The Saskatoon Moose Jaw Swing Joint to the San Diego Bovine Sex Club. It’s what I do with blogs that I dig…
As bschooled would say “It’s my shtick.”
Next, I fired up the fundamentaljelly campaign. But only on the two coasts. My plan? Get the trend-setters hooked on you and the rest of the world would fall in line. Oh, and might I add – Bwehahahaha!
Then, with my pal, Mort Weens, I introduced your line of Fundamental Jelly Flavored Personal Lubricants and Fundamental Jelly related t-shirts to the 18 – 34 demographic. I started a “mixed media/social media/media friendly/media weary/media! media! media! word of mouth and word of billboard and word of honour” campaign.
Oh, and I had a bunch of nice looking models wear the Fundamental Jelly t-shirts – when they weren’t going topless… That really helped raise your blog awareness. it seriously bumped up your Alexa rating and all thanks to me — and tits.
Now you had the male and female demographic. And, of course, the male and female demographic told a friend and they told a friend and so on and so and so on…
Then, just to make 100% sure I had the older crowd, in came Millicent Bodsworth. That was the moment. It was a fundamental paradigm shift in the way the world saw this blog. Way to go Milly!
Your blog had turned into “American Idol”
Everyone from all ages was tuning in.
That’s when Michael Jackson asked to guest blog.
And I turned him down.
And now he’s dead.
A coincidence?
Its all true Alan. I’ll never forget the first time you gave me advice, you said, “Kid, I like the cut of your jib.”
“Jib sir?” I asked.
I’ll never forget you leaned into my face and said, “Shut the fuck up kid and just listen.”
“If you want to have any success in the blog world you’ve got two paths—either show pictures of your penis or get funny.”
“Penis sir.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Just stick with me kid and you’re going to do fine.”
“Penis sir?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
And the rest is history as they say. So thanks Alan for setting me on the good path and also for not making me show pictures of my penis.
Uh oh. I’m catching up on things here and I used the word “schtick” in the previous comments and now I see I spelled it wrong. Except maybe mine is different, like a razor blade related angle or something. A schick shtick?
Thanks FJ, I’m blushing and gushing all over! I’m going to have to check Technorati out.
Do you mean that it’s better to use that form of linking than the way I’ve been doing it (in blue) lately?
My crazy Italian uncles used to call me Zodi when I was a little kid, nobody knows why. But that didn’t keep it from sticking. When I first started roaming around on-line a few years ago, Zodi was all I used. I altered it to zodikllr in the poker money rooms, to give my competitions subconscious a “is this the zodiac killer?” kind of vibe.
I agree with you, for me, it’s all in the comments. When a lot of people have looked but not commented I always wonder if they looked and hated it, or even worse, looked and didn’t care. I’d much rather get comments. I think a lot of our comments are actually funnier than the blog post, because it gives you the chance to be interactive.
I guess I’m it. But I’m coming for you shortly! It sounds like you really owe Alan a bundle of thanks and cash too. Now he is insinuating that he had something to do with MJ. I saw one of the doctors leaving the estate on the news, and just before he turned away from the camera I saw a Ham… on his hat. When asked for a comment all I caught was a “..erk!” You just never know…
You’re welcome Zodi, cheers.
Ah, that must be Michael’s replacement hand, after he lost it to his dad during a totally not-gay swordfight. Thank Jesus and His juice that the underfunded and overworked surgeons were able to apply his cyborg prosthetic in time.
Or else who would be able to grab his crotch during key moments of his live performances? His childlike fans? If only.
And now I’m off to Technorati to take my rightful place somewhere in the lower millions…
Hahahaha, overworked surgeons indeed. Good to see you CLT.
I never look at my technorati ranking but you have me intrigued….
242,753 ooh oooh.
Personally I don’t care about the days I only have 80 people visit as long as 20 of them comment.
Agreed.
Wow, I had no idea that’s how the blessed ranking works. Hrrmph. Oh, and I did ‘claim’ my blog url at Technocrati at the start, but never went back to check my ranking! I must be the dumb one
Funny how the blogosphere works…and really weird that linking within a post is what’s called ‘authority’!?! Why not the actual links one adds because one loves the work? Am I missing the point.
Comments rule. Hands down. Glove up.
Agreed Juicer, good to see you. Cheers.
Have you heard anymore about where they are going to bury Michael Jackson? Last I heard it was GraceLand.
One can only hope.
So, I am thinking since MJ liked Disneyland, maybe a small plot on Tom Sawyers Island, and they could rename it “Neverland”, and make it look like a small scale of MJ’s Neverland in Santa Barbara County, and it could be an new attraction, and, ohh-h-h, I dunno.
Are you sure that’s Jacko’s thumb that he ‘upped’ for you?
It could have been one that he’d borrowed for the weekend, just to see if he liked it.
Good point Nobbly, I’ll have my fact-checkers look into this. Thanks for stopping by.
ok, so you got me wondering.. I went to Technorati, where I’d linked in April, then thought? huh, what next!
So, today I have 4 authorities, which is piss-poor i believe and my ranking is 740,407..? so- what’s that mean? I’m worse off than Bama? And, having lived in Bama for 13 years let me tell you I’m not happy.. normally the only thing/place worse than Alabama is Mississippi!!
What I value most really is repeat visitors and comments. It’s fun to engage with someone and know that I said something of ‘value’ in whatever fashion that might be…. Value: loosing defined here.
I know what you’re saying and concur totally DF, cheers, FJ.
628,275 and 5.
Sigh and what DF said and I don’t understand this whole process.
Neither do I.
I don’t know nothin’ ’bout nothin’ which means nothin’.
Mine’s bad 1,147,596 and my authority is only 2.
Hmmm. and why is this important?
Okay, lets see if all of us put a link back to FJ’s blog from our own blogs and see what his numbers do?
Most of the time, I have a lot more fun reading everyone else’s blog and commenting than I do writing my own! I have things I need to write that I don’t spend writing and commenting takes very few brain cells.. at least for me.
Its not really important Claire as long as you’re enjoying yourself.
I really am, FJ. Can’t you tell? If I wasn’t having a good time, I wouldn’t be here.
Hey everybody, its Claire Collins.
i just did a whole technorati thing w/ Alantru and linked back to FJ.. as well as a few others.. so, we’ll see. I already have a few obsessive tendencies…….and I check stats, the last thing I need to do now is start checking those stats!
We’ll see…great granny panties BTW.
thanks… everyone seems to think, or i think they think.. that the panties are mine. so, let me say here.. THOSE ARE NOT MY PANTIES… mine are bigger…teehee
I think you are my alter ego. Or my Id. Or something. The delicate flower thing, the bare feet, the obsessions. Maybe you are my ambien self that only comes out at night when I should be sleeping but am instead in a hypnotic/sedative fog. Except, I thought I flushed that ambien…
wait… i’m not really obsessed…obsessed…obsessed..must wash hands, feet.
bkt.. thanks, I think. Delicate Flower is MY alter ego, but I’m happy to share. She’s the wild one pulsating below the surface.. and I love her. So, let go and come join me!
Technorati? Weren’t they the ones that killed that British Princess? Not sure but it sounds right. Now what the Hell is all this granny panty business about?
hey Crabby… is this comment before or after you visited the panty site? cause that makes a difference in the answer…
Yea, and we’re celebrating the Moon landings, which were faked in a large sound stage in Riverside County, California. Sheeple.
OMG! My rank is 544,331! We are like SO CLOSE TOGETHER!!!
But I am a total geek about that stuff, or at least I was. Once I started learning about rankings, stats, etc., I got kind of obsessed. Okay, okay. Super obsessed. The sort of bad thing is I really don’t get many visitors. I don’t know what’s considered “good” but I’m sure I don’t make the cut, at least when you look at numbers.
But I have the best commenters on the web, serious up yo. I’ve made some amazing connections with people I genuinely like, provided they are who they say they are which…well, I don’t want to think about that. What I’ve come around to lately is that blogging is nice and can be fun and good exercise for tackling larger projects, but it’s not an end or a destination. It’s a via point.
That said, when my book is published I’ll be going nuts trying to get an audience besides you guys, even though I love you all to the bottom of my shriveled-up, little, black heart.
bkt.. you writing a book too? Maybe us-’uns need to ban together and support each other in this.. someone else i just read, in the thousands of blog I use to divert me from my real job.. is writing the book…
tell me what you’re writing about! Mine’s pretty much what you see me writing in the blog; divorce, midlife issues, dating, sex….
No shit, I just checked this morning and my rank is 460,983. Ditto BK.