From my mobile phone
“Hey Robert, this is Moses, Jefe says we kicked ass and can knock off a day early, you down with that?”
“Does the Pope shit in a large, funny hat?”
“Indeed he does amigo, enjoy the holiday.”
“Sweet.”
A couple in a restaurant
“Janice says he’s a Muslim.”
“A Muslim? Hell, he was drunk on his ass at the last Christmas party.”
“I think they can drink during the holidays.”
A hotel night clerk and patron discussing recent celebrity deaths
“I am telling you they always come in threes, Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and now Billy Mays.”
“What about Ed McMahon, that makes four.”
“Who’s Ed McMahon?”
A different couple in a different restaurant
“…she doesn’t love him, not really, she thinks she does.”
(husband nods) “Um”
“Anyway, they are getting new carpet in the living room, honestly, I don’t know how they can afford it.”
(husband nods) “Yea.”
“Did you pick up the chicken wire at the feed store yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Honey, I want to get this all done before Luke and the kiddos get here Friday.”
“I will.”
“Here, you can have the rest of my potatoes, I’m not going to eat ‘em.”
Psychiatric indeed….
I must start paying more attention to the poor unsuspecting people at the next table.. either for me to eavesdrop or vice versa.. Chicken wire, huh? where are you?
Nice banners by the way….
I am home Delta Foxtrot and all is well. Good to see you.
The last one reminds me of conversations I am in every day.
My heart goes out to you Bear.
I have those conversations every day too. I don’t think my husband knows words with more than one syllable.
That’s b/c typically wives ask rhetorical questions or ones they should already know the answer to b/c we have already answered it 10 times.
Yes, it is true that Muslims can drink while they celebrate the birth of Christ. (Hindus also celebrate by eating Big Macs.)
Thanks for confirming this TL.
chicken wire…….my imagination is running wild
You’re overthinking it YnB.
Real stuff. Can’t beat it! I love these. I should be writing down the ones from my lonely business travel but you thought of it first, Damn!. Once again, YOU ROCK FJ! And I thought “funny scientist” was an oxymoron.
With all your travel, you should be writing alot of things down. Thanks bra.
Overheard in a Porn Theatre.
Man: Wow. How did he…? Photoshopped! Nothing can be that big. Oh. Wow. Now that is pink! Agggh! It’s coming right at me! Duck! Everyone!! Phew… Thank goodness that’s over. Hmm. Oh I don’t like that. No, no, no. Yuck! Wow, I never realized just how stupid looking a penis can be. Aggghhh! Here it comes again! Straight at me. Everyone duck!
Her: Shut up, Frank! Christ, this is the last time I take you to a 3-D porn.
Even with all the layoffs, our organization still has kept our fluffers on staff. I can’t imagine working without them.
3-D porn… drool… Delta Foxtrot is lusting for that…
Thank FJ, perpetual amusement between you and the cute dog I get way too little ‘real’ work accomplished…
Hey, FJ.. Welcome home.
Penises. The red-headed step children of the naked human world.
I love this, FJ. Brilliant idea. I’m always catching bits of conversation and finding it much more intriguing than any real conversation.
And my daughter said, “Isn’t Ed McMahon that UFC guy?” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_McMahon (yes, my daughter watches ultimate fighting. She is my daughter, you know, and loves senseless violence.)
Thanks BK (Bravo Kilo).
Do all Popes shit in funny hats or just the sitting* one? It seems like an odd coincidence that they all would.
*And by sitting, I mean “current”
Yet, I believe it to be true.
All the world’s a television set… nice show.
Thanks Rooster.
Ah, the conversations inadvertently overheard — impossible to unhear.
Lalalalalala…I’m not listening.
Absolutely hilarious! I’m shitting in a large funny hat right now!
I’m going to have to ‘borrow’ this idea at some point! It will be harder for me though, being here. I’m not fluent in this dialog of Spanish. I only hear snippets about figs, groin mauling, and of course, chicken wire.
Love it!!
Thanks Scott, borrow away amigo.
LOSTL! THE POPE!
Its a bit blue, but thats funny!
From One Bob to another!
Bob