Fundamental Jelly

A couple walking their dog (the man is speaking as we pass by)

“Ham, ham, or maybe it was beef, no it was probably ham.”

A joke told by one man to another man while standing in line at Starbucks

“I’ll probably screw up the punchline, okay, uh, so a priest, a cowboy, and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender looks up at them and says, ‘Get the fuck out here.”  Hahahahahaha.

The other guy smiles and nods his head, “Nice.”

A man talking on his mobile phone in a building lobby

“Right, the unit’s fried, yea, let me talk to James.”

“Jimmy, hey I need you to check and see if we have a Larson Y809.

“09.”

“Oh niner”

“No, the one that comes without the shield collar.”

“Right.”

“That’s bullshit Jimmy, we had at least three left over from 17 North.”

That’s all I could remember.

A conversation I had with my wife last week

“Can you see it”, I asked.  “What is that?”

“I don’t know, looks like a mosquito bite.”

“Mosquito bite?”

“That’s what it looks like.”

“There?”

“What do you want me to say, you do wander around naked quite a bit.”

“That’s not…”

“Sweety, come on, pull your pants up, the carpet people will be here any minute.”

“Oh, right.”