Fundamental Jelly

Since I have to leave in the early morning to spend the rest of the week in the goofus bushes of the desert, I thought I would at least post something before I left.  I thought about doing this last week and came up with some funny stuff, but I didn’t write anything down and plum forgot them so I had to come up with new ones today.  Anyway, I believe: 

• …that Elvis died taking a shit and is still dead.
• …that lemmings are more open-minded and individualistic than is commonly thought.
• …that clowns have heat vision.
• …that when my wife and I leave for work, our two dogs actually do play poker.
• …that Obama will win this election and become president.
• …that Lawrence of Arabia was really from someplace else. 
• …that when anybody mentions anything about the Olsen Twins or Rachael Ray that the terrorists win.
• …that cliches are lazy and boring and should be avoided like the plague.
• …that there really is a bridge of hope and wonder.
• …that bread makes you fart and I know this because the other day I ate some bread and a short time later I farted.  (this is empirical science)

I would be interested to know what you guys believe in, so leave a comment with couple of your own.  For Alan Truitt that means at least ten.  Thanks, and I’ll check-in this coming weekend.  Have a great week!