So, last night, my best friend Timm (T) and I (R), at the gentle suggestion of our significant others, attended a real wine tasting event. It was a classic shi shi event peopled with obnoxious lawyers, orthodontists, and their phony wives sporting fake boobs (27 by our count) and it was all a bit much. Early on we decided to go all out and provide a running commentary (a la Wine Spectator) on the wines we tasted. What follows is a recap of our reviews.
Wine No. 1 - Merlot
- R: Impertinent
- T: Sassy
- R: Impetuous
- T: Capricious
- R: Brazen
- T: Pure chutzpah
- R: More like beer really
- T: Good with hot dogs
Wine No. 2 - Pinot Noir
- T: Sweet nose
- R: Sublime nose
- T: Fine legs
- R: Great legs
- T: Nice tits
- R: Awesome tits
- T: What’s not to like?
- R: Nothing
Wine No. 3 - Zinfandel
- R: Vile bouquet and I think blackcurrant
- T: A nose of toasty oak and excrement
- R: Yeasty
- T: Chlamydia undertones
- R: Wet dog aroma
- T: Two wet dogs
- R: Four legs
- T: Lassie compliant
- R: Probably poisonous
- T: Note to self, call Orkin
Wine No. 4 - Cabernet Sauvignon
- R: Big nose
- T: Huge nose
- R: Three nostils
- T: Finish is revolting and long
- R: Too long
- T: My finish is starting over again
- R: Here, try my tongue scrapper
- T: Hemingway wouldn’t drink it
- R: Hemingway did drink it
- T: Touche, my brother
A few weeks ago my company hired a new woman to work in our Administrative Services Department. You can read about our first meeting 
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